I’m constantly feeling guilty about “not doing enough” when it comes to my hobby of learning Chinese. I have been averaging around 3-4hrs every day (I often do 25-minute pomodoro sessions to ensure full focus) for these last 6 months, balancing it with a full-time job, working out and trying to be social. I have no co-dependents and my job is sometimes quite chill which makes this doable. Either way, I still feel guilty of not being able to “obsess” over it every day by studying 8hrs as, apparently, some internet people claim they do. Even while balancing it with other stuff. Or you know, just looking at students studying engineering/law/medical school and also saying they spend 8-10hrs a day studying. Like, I didn’t even spend a fraction of this time studying by myself when I went to uni.
In the end, how many hours of deep focus a day is reasonable? Are the people saying they study 8hrs a day just lying? Or is a lot of unproductive time counted into these 8hrs? Like yes, they sit for 8hrs, but every 10 minute they check their phone for 10 minutes and then resume studying?
You don’t get points for hobbying the hardest. IMO, you might benefit from focusing on enjoying a hobby and stop making it about efficiency.
“Feeling guilty” about not being the best at a hobby is a bit of a “please consider therapy” flag.
You don’t get points for hobbying the hardest
Yes you do. In this case, he would have better Chinese.
Point missed.
He/she’s dead, Jim.
It’s only the dogmatic book-worship type of materialism that says absolutely nothing can be accomplished by effort.
The more you study Chinese, the more Chinese you’ll know. Common sense.
Point missed twice, impressive.
I admire the time you have dedicated to whooshing and misinterpretation, you have become highly-skilled.
We’ve both made our points. You have a great day.
Oh man, it’s so disappointing that people would downvote such a classy post. I mean, you found a polite way to say “I don’t want to have an argument”, and someone would down vote that?! Wild.
Dude, don’t compare yourself to others and just enjoy learning a new language at a pace that works for you. The goal isn’t to learn Chinese the fastest, it’s to learn Chinese well enough that it sticks.
If you feel guilty about a hobby, it’s not a hobby
It has become a chore.
deleted by creator
3 to 4 hours of focus on anything, every single day is so unthinkable to me I can’t even.
Even when I take my ADHD meds I don’t get those kind of numbers! Jesus. Maybe don’t feel like your existence needs to be justified by constant, sustained effort that can be measured? Sounds really stressful.
3–4 hours of focus time, and another 3–4 hours of passive time where the brain gets to work on its own. Usually this is what a full time job is, so don’t expect to do more after that. (Mundane purely “mechanical” jobs add a bit of variables, let’s disregard those for now. Work is work and it takes its toll)
Those who say they’re active for 8 hours consistently don’t know how to measure time, or they’re super rare outliers, or outright liars. It’s just not sustainable.
I’ve read that humans can only sustain maximum focus about an hour. I used to think “I can focus for longer than that!”, but I think a more correct interpretation is that “after more than an hour, you start to see diminishing returns on your effort.”
Upon more careful reflection, that sounds about right. I do engineering work that involves deep focus and complex mental manipulation, and I can say that you really can’t do that for more than 1-2 hours at a time without a break. Try to force it longer than that, and you won’t be able to go back for a second round of that in the same day.
The reason why students seem to be able to do it is because of the staggered classes and the variation in complexity for their course load and, you guessed it, taking short breaks in their sessions. Common advice for engineering students is to pair their engineering courses with lower-stress liberal arts courses or courses that use different parts of the brain in a given semester so they don’t burn out, and to rest between classes and study sessions.
And lastly, as an ADHD adult, I’ll offer this insight on the nature of motivation: everyone’s threshold for how much motivation they need to perform a task with sustained focus is different. Sometimes, you just don’t have it in you, because you’ve used the energy on other things. Willpower is not some magical force that you can limitlessly tap into to achieve the impossible; it is very much a finite resource. So if you’re struggling to bring yourself to do more towards a specific goal, consider where you can shave off some energy elsewhere. Or, perhaps after thinking about it, you realize you are already putting in exactly the amount of energy you are willing to. In that case, there’s no need to feel guilty, because you’re already doing what you can and want to.
Willpower is not some magical force that you can limitlessly tap
I’m sorry. This is not true. Now, I’ll admit, I’m not all that well balanced. That sorta comes with having limitless willpower. And it doesn’t solve most things, really it’s just a different set of problems. But this perspective you share, its the perspective of a NORP. Outside that sandbox, there are crazies that have all the juice it takes for anything at all. Nice to meet ya.
you’re already doing what you can and want to
Well put. This is the true path.
it’s the perspective of a NORP
Huh, do ADHD people count as NORPs? Or is that more of a mindset thing?
My naivete aside, it’s true that the way I phrased my statement ignores people with ADHD who can experience hyper focus on an activity they’re interested in, or people experiencing mania. I’ve certainly experienced the former, but like you said, it’s not a solution but more of a trade-off with its own set of problems.
I guess I should have phrased it more like “even if you have limitless willpower, it doesn’t break physics”: even if you aren’t neurotypical and can sustain willpower for unusual amounts of time, no matter how much motivation you have there is a limited learning capacity you have and a finite amount of time in a day, and you have to pick what you spend them on.
It’s a bit tricky to convey that nuance succinctly, so thanks for pointing that out stranger. :)
:)
I love lemmy. Imagine this conversation on reddit. I’m not envisioning any smiles.Lol I’m NGL half of what made me never feel compelled to contribute on reddit and just be a lurker was how some people seemed to not have “conversations” but rather just talk over each other. It wasn’t always true, but it felt like many people weren’t actually trying to understand what the other people was saying.
I don’t thrive in those environments, I much prefer the deliberate conversations that happen in smaller communities.
So yes, long live Lemmy!
