• lennybird@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        If comfortable, could you or someone else who is trans try to explain the feelings behind transitioning to me, a cisgender? I support trans rights and maintain the philosophy of live and let live (dare I say, true individual freedom as a leftist); I’m just trying to better understand for my own sake.

        More specifically,

        • Is it a matter of societal forces imposing masculine expectations because of your physical characteristics when ultimately, what you feel deep down are effeminate characteristics of the true you? (Or am I wrongly assuming that one is transitioning to another gender and not instead to non-binary?)

        • If yes to the first, if society was more receptive to, say, masculine women or effeminate men at face-value, would that have made you more comfortable prior to transitioning?

        • If no, I’m interested in better understanding how this sort of realignment for lack of a better word improves the feelings of gender dysphoria if it’s more an internal pressure than one imposed upon you by society.

        • In terms of physical attraction, are say MtF by the statistics more attracted to M or F, or is it split, are the bisexual/asexual/pansexual, or is data unclear? Is the aspect of gender dysphoria entirely decoupled from the notion of partner attraction (gay, straight, etc.)?

        Hopefully I asked these in a way that is both respectful and makes sense. No pressure to respond, thanks.

        • x4740N@lemm.eeOP
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          2 days ago

          explain the feelings behind transitioning to me, a cisgender?

          SEX = Physical characteristics of a body assigned at birth

          GENDER = The gender someone identified as along the gender spectrum, such as male or female

          Transgender people experience gender dysphoria where they are born one gender but their body doesn’t match the gender they where born with say someone was born male but their body was female or they where born female but where born with a male body

          Having a body that doesn’t match the gender you where born with can he debilitating for trans people

          The closest way I could describe how it feels is to imagine someone body swapped a cis person into the opposite sex body, the cis person would feel uncomfortable in that body because it’s the opposite sex to the gender rather identify with

          Is it a matter of societal forces imposing masculine expectations because of your physical characteristics when ultimately, what you feel deep down are effeminate characteristics of the true you? (Or am I wrongly assuming that one is transitioning to another gender and not instead to non-binary?)

          I feel like my above answer would be a better explanation to this in addition to my following answer to this

          I feel like this is a smaller part of the entire trans experience

          Transgender people’s experiences aren’t really binary, it’s more of a spectrum

          So I can’t answer for every trans person but personally as a currently closeted trans woman I do hate societal forces imposing masculine ideals on me

          I may need more clarification on this question because in 90% sure of it but theres still the 10% I’m unsure about

          I personally don’t like to apply masculine or feminine labels to my own characteristics because they are a part of what makes me and I don’t see them as masculine or feminine

          yes to the first, if society was more receptive to, say, masculine women or effeminate men at face-value, would that have made you more comfortable prior to transitioning?

          I cannot answer this as I’m closeted so haven’t physically transitioned yet

          Bit off topic here but this does remind of how I don’t like the unrealistic portrayals of strong women in movies and media

          A lot of movies and media like to potray strong women as Mary Sue’s or just write a male character but just change the sex to female

          I feel this doesn’t portray strong women in movies and media realistically at all because it doesn’t realistically protray the experiences, feels, struggles, etc of women and there can be strong women who choose to be feminine and / or sexy as well

          So I don’t think society is fully understanding of masculine women and effeminate men just as they aren’t fully understanding of Transgender people unless they go out of their way to properly study and learn theese things

          I’m interested in better understanding how this sort of realignment for lack of a better word improves the feelings of gender dysphoria if it’s more an internal pressure than one imposed upon you by society.

          I assune your talking about transitioning here

          Trans people transitioning their body to align with the physical characteristics of the gender the align with can alleviate or get rid of the symptoms of gender dysphoria

          In terms of physical attraction, are say MtF by the statistics more attracted to M or F, or is it split, are the bisexual/asexual/pansexual, or is data unclear? Is the aspect of gender dysphoria entirely decoupled from the notion of partner attraction (gay, straight, etc.)?

          Personally I’m attracted to women which would make me trans lesbian or lesbian which some trans women who are lesbian have portmanteau’d into the term “transbian” but not every trans women will use the “transbian” term as it’s personal preference

          I thought I was straight before I realised I was a trans woman

          I also have this weird imposter syndrome (I don’t know if I’m using the right term) where it does feel weird to call myself lesbian because I’m still closeted and haven’t physically transitioned yet so I look down, see a male body and it feels weird to call myself lesbian even though I’m I know I’m a trans woman who just hasn’t physically transitioned yet because I’m still closeted.

          I do also read and watch a lot of girls love / wlw / yuri content because I feel I can relate to it both because I’m a trans woman and because I’m lesbian

          I’ve tried to answer your questions to the best of my understanding, sorry if I misunderstood something because sometimes it can take a while for it to fully click mentally for me

  • mts711@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    Grew up in rural Eastern Europe.

    I have always been considered “eccentric” or a bit “odd”. I made my peace with it and lived my life knowing that I’m not mentally ok.

    After I emigrated to Germany and befriended new people, I realized that I have always been normal, I just didn’t have hillbilly interests like everyone else around me.

    • sbv@sh.itjust.works
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      9 days ago

      I thought I was smart/knowledgeable until I started working with people who really are smart/knowledgeable.

      I tried to keep up and be one of them, but I do better when I just try to follow along with them and consider alternatives and implications of what they propose.

      I wouldn’t say I’m the token idiot, but I have perspectives they don’t, and those are useful. Then again, that’s exactly what the token idiot would say.

      • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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        9 days ago

        The fact that you can follow along & offer a different perspective counts for more than you think, because it shows that you understand.

        The worst is the people who think they’re the smartest person in the room, don’t understand what anyone is trying to explain to them, and insist on doing everything their way.

  • ObtuseDoorFrame@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    I was 28 when I was diagnosed autistic. Up until then I had just assumed I was shitty and worthless. Turns out there has never been anything wrong with me, it’s actually society that has failed me.

    • x4740N@lemm.eeOP
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      2 days ago

      I’m actually on the spectrum myself so I do understand you more than neurotypicals

      I know that shitty and worthless Feeling, like you can’t do anything and have to rely on others and you’re useless outside of the small things you do know how to do

      The part of your comment about society failing you really reminds me of how bad my school was at teaching, yes they had a support person in classes sometimes to help you if you got stuck and here in Australia in high-school they have a subject / class specifically for people with disabilities alongside your regular subjects / classes but I still felt they just made things easier for me and did the bare minimum in teaching me skills to support myself instead of relying on others for help when I got stuck on something

      It also reminds me of how parts of society build up support structures for people on the spectrum without involving people on the spectrum at all so they think the structures will work for every autistic person without out having actually having involved people on the spectrum to help them see what it’s actually like as an autistic person on the spectrum and get feedback from us on what can be done to better support us

      I do like that NDIS (National Disability Insurance Service) here in Australia involves you in planning but it’s still just picking parts of that existing support structure that was made without autistic peoples input