I said I know my ABCs, I didn’t say I know how to structure children’s songs. Next you’re going to expect me to be able to work AND be sober at the same time, SHEESH!

Everyone knows the song goes “ex, why, zed. Now I know my ABCs, next time won’t you sing with med”

It’s “Zed” not “Zee”

I wish I complained about how narrow my shoes always were but now my pinky toes are mangled

Pretty sure a half day interview is enough to make a lot of “normal” people a bit manic, what are they doing? Taking you out for 18 holes and dinner?

I’m gonna need to ask some_guy to help me with the freezer

All wagyu ribeye caps btw

There’s gotta be at least 1 person taking advantage of this to mask up and steal 50-80 pounds of raw steaks

I don’t personally have an issue with it but my 60 million roommates will have to share 1 bathroom

So stupid that it might not even be serious. I guess I need to explicitly state that people shouldn’t strive to be deported?

What I’m hearing is that you get free food, no rent, and access to a closely knit community of people who have many experiences to share

Edit: you people don’t appreciate camping and it really shows

You could always switch to plastic bags instead of paper if your stool ain’t stooling but plastic is bad for the environment.

I don’t know how you’re going to kill 420 Russians with your guitar though.

The way I see it, they can say yes or no. Which is basically 50/50 so you have a 50% chance of passing this stage.

The rest of it is easy work as long as you’re all young, fit, combat trained, able to fake at least 3 european accents, have solid bowel movements, have international underworld connections, a bit of business sense, and a small fortune in a swiss bank

Like…in my apartment? Probably not but I’ve also never tried.

Convince your loved ones to sell all of their material belongings, announce as a group that you are a band of undocumented Romanian gypsies, get deported, arrive in Romania, hoof it to the Ukraine border and claim to be Ukrainian refugees, be accepted into the UK,

Open the first Michelin recognized hotdog and burger food cart, sell your life rights to netflix, go back to the US with all your new money, shit in a paper bag, set it on fire, leave it on the doorsteps of people that have wronged you, go back to the UK, find out that the nearby shawarma shop has stolen your clientele, get depressed, get in a physical argument with the shawarma guys, get deported back to Ukraine,

Channel your anger into fighting the Russians, become known as the Ukrainian ghost sniper with 420 confirmed kills, die a hero, your grandchildren try to sell your war memorabilia on the dark web for vape money, uncover your hidden past as an American, they shit in a paper bag, light it on fire, then leave it on the front porch

I assume they don’t charge you to get deported so there’s a free ticket there and I’m no geographist but there’s a couple countries that also use english as their official language

No offense to Americans, I understand some of you are great people, but I wouldn’t need much of a reason to leave America at this point. If not for my safety, then for my sanity. If not for my sanity, then for eggs.