

assumed that anyone I dated would flop over like a dead fish in bed,
Those women do exist. I have dated them. They were raised as you describe yourself being raised, and thought sexual relationships were entirely the man’s job. Sex was something that happened to them, not something they would actively pursue or direct.
Fortunately, the world has all types. You can absolutely find someone who wants the save dynamic you are looking for. Dating is trial-and-error so you’ll have to deal with some duds along the way, but you’ll get there.
And speaking of Friday, it’s time for the weekly reminder! (CW: swearing)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6tfEZI54Jg