You make Bender sad.

“Opportunities” when talking about shitty metrics.

Why would we help people? /s

Priest: I’d like to report child abuse because that’s the law. Church: You’re out! Go to hell, dickbag.

More fucking psychopaths in this wonderful country that I hate so much.

He just went right to the front of the line.

Two citizens, 5 and 4, simply vanished when their mother was lured to an immigration appointment, advocates say.

It’s amazing how young criminals get started these days. /s

I fucking hate that idiots make it necessary that I indicate sarcasm. The farcical nature of modern life has poisoned the internet against being able to identify sarcasm.

I’d like to buy Ken Turner a pint.

Your beef is with Satya Nadella.

First USA pope. Someone made a lot of money on betting apps.

That security guard should be fired.