I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

  • figjam@midwest.socialEnglish
    242·
    1 day ago

    Younger dudes who haven’t gone through shit aren’t able to empathize with what you are going through. They don’t have the emotional maturity to understand how and when someone needs some support. Finally they are still fighting against what they think society expects a man to be. All of which means that men hide their feelings from other men and expect other men to do the same or else they are week or something is wrong with them. Which is complete and utter bullshit. You are not the problem their programing and lack of life experience is.

    With all that being said. How are you doing today? Are you able to get out and socialize this weekend? Have you considered picking up a new hobby that you have to do with other people? I recommend scuba diving. Good luck and check back in periodically because we want you to thrive.

      • PNW clouds@infosec.pub
        122·
        1 day ago

        Women are also fed lies that men don’t need emotional support. Also, women are told constantly that men don’t want to be friends with them and only want sex.

        So there’s a good chance his friends that are women think he’s not having a hard time and/or he wants to sleep with them instead of talk.

        I’m sorry OP that you are going through this. The advice to join an in person hobby or interest group is probably best. (To supplement your therapy)

        Also, it’s also entirely possible, since it’s been 5 months, that everyone is overwhelmed with life and the world. I know I’ve not reached out as often to my friends the last 6 months (I’m stressed by country and the grief of losing my dad a few months ago.)

        Also you say it seems like everyone is supporting your ex. Are they really? Or is she holding them hostage with her drama and steamrolling into their lives?

      • SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one
        92·
        1 day ago

        Seconding this. Because let’s face it, there absolutely is a pattern of women assuming the man is at fault and sticking with that assumption.