So I am seeing this wholesome woman (+30 F) with silk-smooth skin, blonde hair and no excess fat whatsoever. And she is smarter then I can comprehend.
She would turn my head around once aware I wrote this post. Anyhow, I want to help her gain more confidence.
So, her skin on the lower legs is thin such that you can see her veins. She is ashamed for her blue Ones.
She told me her struggle. She shows me her veins. I feel for her awareness.
She got great legs. But she wears these legging-thingys even it is uncomfortably warm. I want her to feel the cold wind on a hill when we get around some place.
I am assuring her that this ain’t an issue for anyone. Meanwhile drawing them with my finger, wrongly on purpose.
Anyhow; I am trying to make her feel confident enough so that she doesn’t give af and just wear clothes appropriate for the trip & the weather.
Anyone got any advice for me or tips for her?
Every woman I know has felt pressured to look a certain way by our dominant capitalistic world view. With the emergence of social media and influencer culture, men are starting to feel this pressure affect them too.
Its very hard to make someone stop believing that something objectively apparent doesn’t matter. Its less about whether it matters to you and more about how she feels others perceive what she perceives to be a flaw.
Telling her that it doesn’t matter to you is totally fair. Telling her it doesn’t matter to anyone would not be entirely true - yes, our culture can be that superficial.
There are, after all, entire industries that count on us to impart such insecurity onto our daughters so that they spend on beauty products their whole lives and keep that revenue engine churning.
My suggestion would be to reassure her that it doesn’t matter to you but to also see if you can have a broader conversation on the social pressures she has experienced related to her appearance and how it has impacted her life. You may have had similar experiences to share. This will brinf you closer, remembering that true confidence comes from strong relationships built on a foundation of mutual trust.