Seen this on reddit and thought it was an interesting question that largely is not talked about.
It is largely an issue that gets sidelined and hidden because people don’t want to talk about it or accept that it exists. Hopefully this gets some traction to break that marginalisation.
I deal with it in the same way I deal with misogony, I realize that everyone has their own experiences and that some dislike either way is to be expected, but if someone fixates on either I ignore them and more on.
I have much better things to do than arguing with hateful people on the internet.
I know you want to focus this thread on misandry but I had a learning experience with dealing with misogony a few years back…
I am a man, and back in 2011 when I first joined Reddit I was feeling a bit lost, I recently graduated, I had got my first job, wasn’t a good fit, I was lonely and depressed.
I was (still am) fat and balding, had never been in any kind of relationship, I was feeling resentment, and didn’t know where to channel it.
As I joined reddit I found the subreddit MensRights, and thought that it was interesting to learn about issues affecting men rather than hearing only about issues affecting women.
So I joined the subreddit, and over the next few years I read stories about how men were mistreated, and how unfair life was for us.
It was interesting, felt like I had discovered the final puzzle pieces that would complete my social understanding of society.
But, after a few years of having MenRights in my Reddit feed daily, I started noticing that I started disliking women in general.
I never wanted that, I realized that if I wanted to have any chance to find a woman as a partner or just as a friend, something needed to change, and after looking at the mental puzzle mentioned above, I realized that the peice I thought was the final peice had grown, and pushed everything out of alignement.
So I cut out MensRights from my subscriptions, and just decided to ignore it, and that did wonders for me, I don’t feel any hate or dislike for women any longer, I still don’t have a partner, but that is my own issue to deal with, and it is unfair to take it out on others.
Cutting out MensRights was harder than I thought, I had to properly decide and tell myself to do it, I suppose it was a coping mechanism.
My point to all of this is that while you can’t change other’s oppinions online, you can change what communities you engage with, be critical and analyze which communities affect you in what ways.
Or to put it like the WTYP podcast often say, you can just leave, there is nothing forcing you to stay in communities that are full of misandry or misogony, you can just leave.
I deal with it with grace, understanding, and compassion. I’m gay, but as a white cis man I still have obscene amounts of privilege. I feel a bit like a double agent. I’m a minority, but as I move through the world I am afforded all of the privilege that patriarchy can offer. And I can say with full confidence, the misandry I encounter pales in comparison to the homophobia I encounter. This goes for online as well as irl. And “pales in comparison” is inadequate. It’s so not even on the same playing field. They are not even comparable. I get it. It’s rougher to be a straight man than it’s ever been. I routinely get “mistreated” because I’m a bearded white guy who looks like Steve from Minnesota. But having a woman be less polite to me now and then is nowhere near what I go through as a queer. Especially growing up. I used to pray every night for god to kill me. Because I am queer. Not because I am a man. And I’ve tried to explain this to my brothers, and they don’t get it and can’t help but feel like the victim in all of this. And I bet you will align with them. But hopefully someone reading this will hear it. Yes, you are struggling. But fucking cope. Cope. Sharpen your coping skills. Because you have still been spared in a way you can’t even comprehend.
Does it affect me negatively? sure. Does it affect me on a personal level? Absolutely not. I guess I view it with a kind of sad condescension, like: “I’m sorry society is so fucked up that you feel it necessary to lash out like that. I’m trying my best, but I’m only one man.” Now that I think about it, I’m not sure what the says about my engagement with system. I’m going to have to ruminate on that…
Down with the patriarchy!
What do you mean by “misandry”?
If you mean “women venting about their experiences in a male-dominated world”, then I don’t give a shit. I just try not to be the reason they’re complaining.
If you mean unrealistic emotional expectations for men, like we’re not allowed to cry or be sensitive or feel any emotion but anger, it frustrates me. I don’t really know how to handle it.
Maybe I’m too laid back to notice, but I’ve never seen anyone hate men just because they’re male. So much so, that in order to answer this question I had to google what “misandry” meant. I had no clue what the hell you were even asking.
Is this seriously a thing? Am I in a bubble isolated from this? Or are you in a bubble where non-issues are issues for you? Genuinely asking.
Unfortunately there are certain niches on tiktok… Depending where the algorithm throws you
Oh, I’m ABSOLUTELY in a bubble away from tiktok.
You know how a broken clock is right twice a day? Well, trump actually got tiktok right the FIRST time he had an opinion on it, in 2016, and surprisingly enough for the right reason.
It IS a Chinese espionage tool. It always has been. Both against their own citizens, and against other nations userbase.
I just want to make clear two things.
-
I’m NOT a trump supporter. He just happened to be right on this one issue in 2016. It’s one of those times where I was like “Wait…really? I’m agreeing with trump??? That can’t be right…no, it checks out. He’s making rational points…are we SURE this is trump??? The orange cheeto man? The grease pizza slut? That guy is…alright. Feels weird agreeing with trump on something…”
-
He’s since reversed his stance, and gotten his own tiktok once he realized he could game the system. So, suddenly he’s pro-tiktok. Which is somehow better for me personally. I can keep my position, and not feel dirty for being on trumps side. I have spent all of 0 minutes on tiktok.
Me, to MAGAS:
You hate China because you’re racist.
I hate China because the CCP is a giant bag of dicks.
We are not the same.
-