when I think of the word “fetish” I’m thinking about people who are into feet, bdsm, femdom, cuckolding or MDLB. Not someone who just finds X ethnicity more attractive on average than any other ethnicity. Nobody for example is going to say to a white man that he has a white girl fetish simply because he finds white women more attractive on average than any other ethnicity. Because it’s completely understandable that most people prefer to date with their own ethnicity. But the minute that white man finds a black women more attractive on average suddenly that’s fetishization. It’s completely ridiculous.
No, that’s not a fetish.
People only call that a fetish because of ingrained racism.
They think interracial dating is somehow abnormal or unnatural, which is how they land on the term “fetish”.
I.E. someone is telling on themselves when they suggest that interracial dating is a fetish.
My only 2 serious dating relationships were with Asian women. I don’t really have my own social circle, so theirs became mine.
My best friend is from Vietnam/Cambodia, my other friends are her family and social circle.
To people looking at me from the outside, it looks like I have a preference or even fetish for Asian people. But for me that’s simply not true. My friends happen to be Asian, my past dating life happened to be with Asian women. But that doesn’t define me. Though, due to the stereotype of the White man with “yellow fever”, it would seem that it were so. I don’t give a fuck what people think, so it does not affect me.
I don’t date women anymore, and have only had encounters with Black and White men. It’s just how things have gone, which is fine with me; I go with the flow.
To have a preference for a certain race or ethnicity is not problematic. To have a dating profile that says “X’s only”, is a red flag at best. I’d avoid anyone who says “White Trans Only”. Even though that is who I am, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who sees me as less than a person and more of an object for their desires. Life is too short to limit oneself to only a certain type of person, whether it be race, ethnicity, or other immutable trait. I’d like to think that my future mate will like me for my personality and lived experiences. If they happen to also like me because of what I look like, that’s fine too.
It’s only a fetish if it becomes the primary (or only) source of arousal. Having preferences isn’t a fetish. I am pansexual, but lean more toward preferring men. This does not mean I fetishize men.
Maybe, but I’ll tell you something. I never had much attraction to a race different than mine. However, I ended up living in another country for three years for work and over time developed a real attraction to a different race. I’ll say I was even more attracted to them than my own. I especially noticed this for a few months after returning to my own country. After a few years of being home, though I’ll say I have mostly reverted my preferences.
I guess it just showed me that attraction can be very situational and likely the more prevalent race in a country often set the beauty standards.
X is an ethnicity? What the fuck is wrong with Elon Musk?
Also a very specific lab-made meme genotype and a line of candles from Bath and Body Works
I think it is a fetish when it becomes the central and most important part of sexual attraction. If I as a Latino only see attractive, let’s say, Asians women, and I only focus on Asians women and I’m only looking to date Asians women, I’m ferichizing them.
(And just in case, no, I don’t have an obsession with Asians women. I find Latinas and Black women more attractive).
I think its one of those spectrum things. Preference <—> Fetish.
If you are interested in the person as well as the attribute, its probably more on the preference end, but if all you care about is the attribute, that’s when it strays into fetishisation?
Also matters how you express the preference. If your tinder profile says “women of colour only”, thats gonna come across more creepy than if you left that out, and just matched with whoever you found attractive.
I like your explanation. I think its like anything else. Is it a fetish to be a boob man or a but man or to like them big or small? To like athletic or lavashish? I think it comes down to how absolute it is. Its like on the ones side its hey I prefer so your sorta gonna get some points for features I like and on the other is like I will only date people who are or have X or something.
If the race is a must, then yes. If the race is a preference, then no.
Well I’m Latino so I only date Latinas simply because it’s way easier for me to get along with them due to me and her sharing the same culture, the same language, the same values.
I can’t date white women, black women, Indian women and east Asian because they all have different cultures, speak different languages and have different values than me.
“Can’t”? Lots of people do. Although she was white, I lived with a German girl, in Germany, for two years. I barely spoke German, and she barely spoke English, when we met. And, despite what you might think, there are significant cultural differences between Americans and Germans.
“Can’t” probably isn’t the word you’re looking for. “Don’t want to” is more accurate.
I really want to date east asian girls, but my wife won’t let me :(
I would call that a strong preference. Sounds like you don’t have anything in particular about it other than convenience. I mean people are like that with religion. I only want to date my faith because otherwise there will be to many complications type thing.
Perfectly reasonable to be attracted to physical traits or customs (clothes, hairstyle, body modifications) that are typical for a particular culture or ethnicity.
The problems start when attraction is contingent on belonging to a particular ethnicity.
As long as both parties have knowledgeable consent, then what does the label really matter? You like what you like(legally speaking). The only people who should feel ashamed of what they’re into are furries. Filthy things…
(I kid, but only just.)
Because we are the wolf we feed, or the monster - if we lean into fetishizing entire races, we justify that behavior and reenforce it, normalizing reducing an immutable trait into a sexual characteristic. Vs thinking “hey maybe I shouldn’t be spending all my time looking at only BBC-worship photos because it fucks up the way I treat black men” etc (to use one that comes up in the gay community a lot).
I am of the mind that it’s not healthy to be ashamed or upset by what turns us on, but that we shouldn’t intentionally try to get problematic with it either, as sex can get compulsive pretty quick. So don’t fetishize races.
It is not “natural” to prefer one ethnicity over another. That’s because ethnicity isn’t a material condition that evolution could adapt to in any meaningful way.
Not to say that ethnicity isn’t meaningful as such. Boarders, sovereignty, and money are also abstract constructs that effect great influence over our lives.
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